# Vandalism - How are people handling these things?



## judomc (Jun 11, 2018)

So this past weekend my car was "keyed" (really "hooked") while in the parking lot of one of the local grocery stores. I was really upset when I saw it. As soon as I got home I checked the sentry cam footage, and to my amazement, it was a store employee. One of the people collecting carts, repeatedly walked around the car, initially just doing their job. Once they had the carts together they started to hook them up with the strap they use, then he stopped, undid the hook, turned to my car and SCRATCH across the rear drivers side door. Then he wiped off the hook turned back to the carts, finished connecting them together and rolled off. I've since reported the issue to the store, the police, and my insurance. The store has indicated that they will submit a claim through their insurance. The police have found out the individual was only 14 and now I have to choose between pressing charges and sending this kid into the juvenile court system, or leaving it as parental admonishment. The local Tesla approved body shop has provided a quote just shy of $1500 for the repaint/blending work.

I want to believe that without pressing charges, this kid, having been caught and having the police show up to talk with his mom, will hopefully be scared straight and the store will still cover the damages. I think I would be more inclined to move forward with charges if this was an adult.

I'm curious to hear other peoples experiences and thoughts on this.


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## Gatornail (Apr 11, 2017)

Just my opinion, but what you described sounds so deliberate that I would seriously consider pressing charges (since he actually undid the hook to use it to scratch the car)


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## judomc (Jun 11, 2018)

Gatornail said:


> Just my opinion, but what you described sounds so deliberate that I would seriously consider pressing charges (since he actually undid the hook to use it to scratch the car)


Very true, I was definitely leaning that way for that very reason originally but the kids age is making me think it over some more. I have a few days to make a decision. Thanks for your input!


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## FRC (Aug 4, 2018)

That sucks, and I don't envy your position or the decision you have to make. The damage to this kid(whether by what you choose to do, or not to do) is clearly much more important than the damage to your car. Perhaps a discussion with the kid's manager at work might help you determine whether or not he is going to be appropriately punished(and maybe what type of parents he has). My gut says that a 14 year old that is working probably has decent parental leadership and that legal punishment might do more harm than good, unless he has gotten away with similar behavior before.


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## MelindaV (Apr 2, 2016)

FRC said:


> That sucks, and I don't envy your position or the decision you have to make. The damage to this kid(whether by what you choose to do, or not to do) is clearly much more important than the damage to your car. Perhaps a discussion with the kid's manager at work might help you determine whether or not he is going to be appropriately punished(and maybe what type of parents he has). My gut says that a 14 year old that is working probably has decent parental leadership and that legal punishment might do more harm than good, unless he has gotten away with similar behavior before.


maybe because we dont have kids working here at 14 years of age, but my initial thought was a parent letting their kid work at 14 - during the school year - may not be all that interested in discipline. The kid got to be 14 years old and thinks its ok to damage someone elses property afterall.


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## Needsdecaf (Dec 27, 2018)

Maybe have a talk with the parents and agree to not press charges if he does some kind of meaningful community outreach?


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## [email protected] (Oct 3, 2018)

I would expect the store to terminate him.


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## SMITTY (Jan 24, 2019)

Release the footage... Make him go viral as a bunch of Sentry Cam videos have. I feel like the worst thing that could happen to a kid these days is get embarrassed online.


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## Dr. J (Sep 1, 2017)

Make an arrangement where the kid pays for the damage by working it off. That would make an impact. Assuming he's still employable.


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## shareef777 (Mar 10, 2019)

Press charges. Losing a job won’t mean much for a teenager. Having the police involved is the only way to be certain that this will set the kid straight and that he won’t eventually forget it. If he still lets it go and forgets it, then he was a lost cause to begin with. At 14, there won’t be any long term damage. I had a similar issue and was arrested in my teens. Better believe that day still rings in my head and set me straight. I appreciate it everyday and have been open about it with my three kids. I let them know people make mistakes, but they also have to own up to it.


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## GDN (Oct 30, 2017)

Tough situation, would be helpful if you knew if there had been other issues and the reason he is working at 14, is he ambitious, does he have a poor home, has he already dropped out of school, is he already on the path of bad news. All I can say is that I realize more and more every day how far out of touch I likely am with what it's like to be a teenager these days. I would hate to think there were official charges pressed, but would be nice if there were some way to know he had to pay for at least part of the repair. If the store is offering to pay I'm sure they have also terminated him.


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## JasonF (Oct 26, 2018)

SMITTY said:


> Release the footage... Make him go viral as a bunch of Sentry Cam videos have. I feel like the worst thing that could happen to a kid these days is get embarrassed online.


Since the subject of the video is a minor, that might be illegal. Then you could end up being the one hiring a defense lawyer.

I personally believe that giving a 14 year old extra slack for damaging property just because they come from a poor home, or a poor neighborhood, or has other difficulties in their life is doing that kid a huge disservice. Would a police officer let them off with a warning for speeding, or DUI, or even drug possession just because they come from a poor home? Probably not. It might seem cruel to press charges for vandalism, but if they don't learn and respect the penalties for the small stuff, the big stuff is going to hit them extra hard.


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## iChris93 (Feb 3, 2017)

shareef777 said:


> Having the police involved is the only way to be certain that this will set the kid straight and that he won't eventually forget it.


I do not think this is certain.


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## shareef777 (Mar 10, 2019)

iChris93 said:


> I do not think this is certain.


I did say, that IF that doesn't do it, then there's nothing judomc could of done and the kids a lost cause. We could dive deeper into other possibilities, but I don't think anyone here is a licensed psychiatrist.


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## judomc (Jun 11, 2018)

FRC said:


> That sucks, and I don't envy your position or the decision you have to make. The damage to this kid(whether by what you choose to do, or not to do) is clearly much more important than the damage to your car. Perhaps a discussion with the kid's manager at work might help you determine whether or not he is going to be appropriately punished(and maybe what type of parents he has). My gut says that a 14 year old that is working probably has decent parental leadership and that legal punishment might do more harm than good, unless he has gotten away with similar behavior before.





[email protected] said:


> I would expect the store to terminate him.


It's my understanding that this has already happened.


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## judomc (Jun 11, 2018)

I obviously don't know what his home situation is. I know he was working at the store for only a few hours on the weekends and from what I was told yesterday he's been let go. I need to speak with the officer again to find out some more information.

Given the age of the kid I'm not sure it would be appropriate to post the video.

I appreciate everyone's input here, lots to think about...


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## shareef777 (Mar 10, 2019)

judomc said:


> I obviously don't know what his home situation is. I know he was working at the store for only a few hours on the weekends and from what I was told yesterday he's been let go. I need to speak with the officer again to find out some more information.
> 
> Given the age of the kid I'm not sure it would be appropriate to post the video.
> 
> I appreciate everyone's input here, lots to think about...


Good call on not posting the video, that wouldn't serve any purpose.


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## MNScott (Mar 16, 2019)

A 14 year old is a 8th or 9th grade kid. Being a parent of 3 boys, I speak from experience that 14 year old boys do not always make the best decisions. Why he is working? Hard to say - maybe his family needs the money, maybe he's saving for a car or college. Doesn't really matter.

My opinion (putting myself in your shoes as well as thinking about this as a parent) is that I think you've taken this far enough. Do you really want to pin this event on his permanent record? From your point of view - you're being made whole (car repaired), you've identified the culprit, there have been consequences (loss of job, police, parents).

It's a car. It can and will be fixed. I'm pretty sure the kid has already learned from this and has already received consequences. I'd let it go at that. My $.02.

Scott


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## Mr. Spacely (Feb 28, 2019)

A 14 year old is not going to end up behind bars for vandalism. They will probably make him do some community service and then since he is a minor take it off his permanent record. I'd press charges...


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## MNScott (Mar 16, 2019)

JasonF said:


> I personally believe that giving a 14 year old extra slack for damaging property just because they come from a poor home, or a poor neighborhood, or has other difficulties in their life is doing that kid a huge disservice.


Huh? Why would you automatically assume economic status? For all we know the kid works because he's saving for a new video game. Or, maybe he works because he has 5 siblings and one parent and they need money for groceries. Or, maybe his parent is really sick and they don't have insurance. Or, maybe he's using his earnings to buy drugs. Who knows?

He's 14. It's a scratch. It will be 100% fixed. He's been caught, fired, police involved, parents notified. I'd advise that is enough...but, that's me.

Scott


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## JasonF (Oct 26, 2018)

MNScott said:


> Huh? Why would you automatically assume economic status? For all we know the kid works because he's saving for a new video game. Or, maybe he works because he has 5 siblings and one parent and they need money for groceries. Or, maybe his parent is really sick and they don't have insurance. Or, maybe he's using his earnings to buy drugs. Who knows?


The whole reasoning and history doesn't matter, that's my point. When a kid is let off for something like this, they tend not to think of it as "I came really close to disaster". Instead, they tend to think, "Nobody did anything to me for it". Getting fired, talking to cops, having the parents yell at them, those are only transient things to a teenager, something they just have to endure for a few hours, and then they can go back to whatever they normally do. Then they vandalize someone else's car, because now there's no real penalty, and no one really did anything about it last time. Or maybe this time they break into a car and take stuff. Then the police take it seriously, and they're looking at actual jail time.

So the point I _am_ trying to make is if this kid has to face a judge and do a few hours of community service for scratching a car? Yes, he's going to feel like the penalty is severe, and something bad happened to him because of it. _That_ is what is going to scare him straight, when he learns just how invasive into his life the punishment for breaking the law is. And it's better he learns it from this than something which will put him in an actual jail.


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## MelindaV (Apr 2, 2016)

MNScott said:


> Huh? Why would you automatically assume economic status? For all we know the kid works because he's saving for a new video game. Or, maybe he works because he has 5 siblings and one parent and they need money for groceries. Or, maybe his parent is really sick and they don't have insurance. Or, maybe he's using his earnings to buy drugs. Who knows?
> 
> He's 14. It's a scratch. It will be 100% fixed. He's been caught, fired, police involved, parents notified. I'd advise that is enough...but, that's me.
> 
> Scott


from what the OP posted, only the employer & police were notified.


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## Frully (Aug 30, 2018)

Mr. Spacely said:


> A 14 year old is not going to end up behind bars for vandalism. They will probably make him do some community service and then since he is a minor take it off his permanent record. I'd press charges...


True, a lot depends on local rules. Where I am the record gets sealed at 18 so it's not the end of the world...but it is perhaps a 'gateway' to the start of ruining his life. At the same time it may be the discipline he needs to not repeat. I personally was a **** at that age and got thrown more than one get-out-of-jail-free chances and am very thankful for them today.



JasonF said:


> The whole reasoning and history doesn't matter, that's my point. When a kid is let off for something like this, they tend not to think of it as "I came really close to disaster". Instead, they tend to think, "Nobody did anything to me for it". Getting fired, talking to cops, having the parents yell at them, those are only transient things to a teenager, something they just have to endure for a few hours, and then they can go back to whatever they normally do. Then they vandalize someone else's car, because now there's no real penalty, and no one really did anything about it last time. Or maybe this time they break into a car and take stuff. Then the police take it seriously, and they're looking at actual jail time.
> 
> So the point I _am_ trying to make is if this kid has to face a judge and do a few hours of community service for scratching a car? Yes, he's going to feel like the penalty is severe, and something bad happened to him because of it. _That_ is what is going to scare him straight, when he learns just how invasive into his life the punishment for breaking the law is. And it's better he learns it from this than something which will put him in an actual jail.


I think I agree, the consequence matters to prevent justifying the act.


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## MNScott (Mar 16, 2019)

I can see the viewpoint of "consequence begets learning". I think we have a different opinion on how far the consequences should go. Let's assume whatever record he has is closed at age 18. That doesn't help him when applying to colleges or trade schools at age 16 or 17. That doesn't help him when applying for another job at age 15-18.

Like others have stated in this thread - I'm sure (thinking back) that I could have been in trouble for things I did at age 13-18 too and was graciously given lesser penalties than I deserved. Perhaps that guides my opinion on this.

Good luck to the OP with their decision.

Scott


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## JasonF (Oct 26, 2018)

To be clearer, I’m not advocating tossing a 14 year old in jail over a scratch. I’m counting on that there will probably be no jail time. There might not even be community service. I think the prosecutor will end up reducing the charges, and it will end with a fine against the parents or something. And the kid’s record will be purged or sealed when he turns 18 anyhow in most states, so it probably wouldn’t cause him to be unable to get a job in 10 years.

But, he should learn that there is an arduous and time consuming process attached to breaking the law. Even getting a simple traffic ticket has one. Learning about it, and learning how to avoid it, is part of the journey to becoming an adult.

And as I said above, if he has these tendencies not to care about personal property, it’s better he learns the process over something small than after he has really done something there is no turning back from.


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## Dmb5450 (Jan 2, 2019)

You have a lot of input on How to handle the vandalism, but not much on a fix. Check out Dr. colorchip. It's expensive but worth the cost. My previous car was an F-Type. I used colorchip to fix a small scratch and it worked well. It's worth a try if you want to dyi. You will need to do many layers over several days but the results should be amazing. Here is a quick video I made for a college course a few years ago.


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## timtesla (May 9, 2018)

Sucks about the scratch. Glad you were able to resolve the situation.

Just wanted to weigh in on the kid's situation. I think being caught, fired and dealing with his parents is enough of a lesson and he will likely straighten up. Having criminal charges would have very severe consequences in the long term, including employment, travelling internationally and possibly even college admissions. Its not worth potentially ruining someones life over a stupid thing they did when they were 14.

My car was vandalized (non-permanent damage) earlier this year with some kind of gunk on all my handles, but couldn't tell who did it since I don't have sentry mode on. Even if I did though, I don't think I would have done anything about it legally speaking unless it was an adult.


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## Torque Monster (Sep 14, 2019)

Press charges. This was not his first act of vandalism.
His juvy record will be hidden, when he moves into adulthood.
If his parents appear to impose appropriate discipline, there is no guarantee it would actually be done
The Police should propose charges to the States Attorney, without you and only having the video


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## jsanford (May 24, 2016)

Dr. J said:


> Make an arrangement where the kid pays for the damage by working it off. That would make an impact. Assuming he's still employable.


The parents have to agree, but I like this. Some neighborhood kids scratched my grandfather's MGB and the punishment was spending spring break doing chores all day each day. The kid trimmed the lawn after a mow (with shears), scraping off the house trim for repainting, weeding, etc..

This kid did it on the job as vandalism, though.


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## MNScott (Mar 16, 2019)

Torque Monster said:


> Press charges. This was not his first act of vandalism.
> His juvy record will be hidden, when he moves into adulthood.
> If his parents appear to impose appropriate discipline, there is no guarantee it would actually be done
> The Police should propose charges to the States Attorney, without you and only having the video


Huh...didn't know anyone on this forum would know this (previously anonymous) kid and his parents.


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## MNScott (Mar 16, 2019)

@judomc - what did you decide to do in this situation?


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